Banarasiya!

If you were besotted by those smoky ghats that formed the perfect backdrop for Dhanush’s Raanjhanaa, then trust me that an actual visit to Benaras will leave you in raptures. I made my first trip to Varanasi also known as Kashi in 2008. I was in college and obviously low on budget. Though, I had my apprehensions about an overnight journey from Delhi to Benaras in a sleeper class, my fears notwithstanding, I boarded the train. But, as opposed to what I had thought it would be, the journey was interesting in the company of some foreign tourists in my compartment.

Tip no. 1: Try and eat at every station. Don’t rely on railway’s pantry. The cost turns out to be cheaper, and you get variety.

Whiff of the holy city

Train from Delhi reaches Varanasi at around 8am, but my friend from BHU (Benaras Hindu University), asked me to get-off at Manduadhi – one station after Benaras. I was clear that I will not be staying in a fancy hotel with a balcony overlooking the Ganges and blow my hard-earned pocket money. So, I took a shared auto and reached Lanka. The ride from the station to Lanka was unforgettable. I was dressed in shorts and invited stares of all kinds. Women were staring in disapproval and men, well, they were leaching! But they looked harmless.

Tip No. 2: Wear anything, but if those stares bother you, just smile at people. They will get conscious and will stop staring.

Don't get lured by these fancy hotels... you will end up regretting.

Park yourself

My friend received me and showed me my accommodation for the next three days. ‘Swayamvar Vatika’ written on a dirty white board in red drew my attention. Shady, I thought. And, as I heard Rs. 200 per night, I put my foot down. A little persuasion by my friend convinced me to give it a try. The room was spacious with an attached bathroom. I wasn’t too sure about the cleanliness part, so my friend offered his personal bed sheets and blanket from hostel. Hotel's manager promised to get the room cleaned with Dettol. I could now peacefully plan my day ahead.

Tip 3: Stay in a cheap hotel near university area to save money. Carry your own toiletries, bed and pillow covers. Ask house-keeping to mop the room with disinfectant for trouble the free nights.

That perfect sunrise

My tour-de-Benaras began with getting up at six and walking all the way to Malvia Bridge to catch the sunrise. Between those temple bells, morning artis, holy chants infused with pure classical singing by a helmsman and the smoke, I had witnessed the most beautiful sunrise of my life. One should walk back to Lanka to have the most famous and scrumptious breakfast, ‘Chaachi ki puri bhaaji and jalebi’- all of it for just 15 bucks! Walk a little ahead and the world famous Pehelwan ki lassi is there to lure you. One glass and you are set till the lunch time. After a very heavy breakfast, it is best to walk across the narrow lanes of the city that houses almost 200 temples and hit the ghats.

Tip 5: Take a boat ride across the Ganges to add more charm to your experience. Don’t get scared if you see any dead body floating along the boat. They are dead and harmless!

Benaras on foot

I started from one ghat and walked all the way covering Assi, Manikarnika, Kedar and many more. Spend your evening at Dashashwamedh ghat to witness the impeccably choreographed grand Ganga arti. Picture this: a row of priests sitting on raised platforms by the bank of the Ganges with humungous, multi-tiered oil lamps in their hands that move in absolute sync. The heavy Sanskrit chants lending it a perfect background. Strikingly breathtaking!

In your schedule, keep an entire day to spend in Gadhaulia. From Bengali maach-bhaat to Banarsisilk and beautiful curios, you will have to suppress your urge to splurge. This is when you will spend the money that you had saved on the trip. So shop to your heart’s content and take a piece of Banaras back with you!

Tip 5: Walk across the city and save money to visit places around Varanasi. Do take long walks inside BHU. Though I am sure you won’t be able to see the entire campus, please carry a camera to capture the conjuring beauty of the city.

Har Har Mahadev!

A lot happened over a cup of coffee...

Did it feel like a touch of an old lover or was it just different? His hands were soft or did he hold mine tenderly? He was blushing. Why? I assume because I was staring at him. But, why was I staring at him? I think he never thought about it. But, I clearly remember staring at his head; it was covered with bandanna. So?  Well, I know him for quite a few years so as to affirm that he was not someone who has anything to do with trends, fashion or coolness. Anyway, he was blushing and I was talking, and there was this inconspicuous urge in both of us to get closer. There were momentary stares followed by ‘that kind of smile’. But our first meeting after ten years was just about coffee and catching-up. It was definite that we were meeting again. When? We never decided.

Things Amma says...

* My Daughter works in news

* Monsoons are delayed this year, I told you, Global Warming

* It has started raining in April, I told you, Western Disturbances

* People who don’t respect their parents are never success!

* I want to top-up my phone for Talk fulltime

* I was searching for some pictures on ww.google

* Why did Kaanta Ben faint in Kal Ho Na Ho so many times?

* I read ‘Dilli’ Times everyday

* Isn’t Hongkong in Thailand

* When she caught my kid brother smoking, she complained to me, “I think your brother is watching ‘Prawn’ these days”

Oh Amma! Your son just loves King 'Prawns'... :)

Don’t want it to sound like a clichéd, but she is different!

Like I warned you, my space shuttles. Well, after meandering over some nostalgia, some romanticism with some borrowed expressions and some of my own, I am back to normal. Not that writing in Hindi is abnormal; I hate people who ask me, “Oh, so you can write in Hindi?” I mean what’s the big deal?

Anyway, without digressing further, I want to apologize for my last post. I realized how bad it was. I was humming a tune in my head and just fixed few words to it, so that I could sing aloud. Though, I have given quite a believable reason for the inspiration of that song; I do have a picture of Kajari in my head. But, I could have done a better job. And I promise I will.

Maybe not now, maybe in a few days, may be in a few years, but I will. I can’t disappoint Kajari. She means much more than just a woman who inspires me. So what if she doesn’t exist in the real world? She does in my thoughts. She is enigmatic, astute, firm, arresting, stubborn and dark. Dark because she doesn’t let anyone get to her. Nobody has been close to her ever.

She is whimsical, she can make you love and hate her in the same breath. She is the one who can make a man walk out of his relationship (Read marriage) to be with her. But no one can ever be with her, you know why? Because she is erratic. So volatile! She is not the most beautiful woman I have seen, but she is that dusky sunset that you wait to catch by the beach side; one that makes you gloomy yet keeps you from eluding. She is like that quaff of uncooked rice that you can’t resist. She is all unconventional. She is poetic in her own way, and can surprise you with most profound one liner (original) when you expect it the least; maybe when you are dying. She is a maverick.

But hang on, she is not a clichéd.  What keeps her off from being a clichéd is the fact that she is full of mistakes. She is not the most ideal girl one could seek inspiration from. She has hurt people, she has broken hearts, she has lied, she has ditched and she doesn’t like to be alone. She likes to be alone when there are people around her and she wants to be with them when alone. She is chemically imbalanced! A complete goner. She should take charge of her life, but she lets it be.

Kajari is mad. Kajari is full of love. Kajri is the biggest liar I have seen yet she is harmless. I don’t want sound like a clichéd, but she is different! 

कजरी

नैनों  को भर दे अपने ही रंग से,

अपना सा करदे मोहे कजरी ...

लाल ना भाये मोहे, गुलाबी ना भाये 

मोहे तू रात के रंग में ही रंग री 

रंग तोरा है सबसे गाढा,

घिस - घिस उतारे ना उतरे ...

ऐसो बसा मोरे मन में ये रंग तोरा 

अब ना जाए किसी के संग री 

रंग तोरा है सबसे सच्चा ,

इसमें मिले न कुछ और ...

ऐसो रचा  मोरे संग ये रंग तोरा  

 ढीट बुलाये मोहे जग री 

रंग तोरा है सबसे गहरा,

डूबे कोई तो ना उभरे ...

ऐसो बस गया मोरे नैनों में ये रंग तोरा 

मैं ही हो गयी कजरी 

Kajri is an enigma...a woman with several layers to her personality and depth to her character. 
Kajri is who I want to be.

तुम्हारी अमृता...

झूठ रेशम के लिहाफ की तरह होता है...उसके नीचे छुपकर सोने में बेहद मज़ा आता है!

मुझे दिन का इशारा मिल गया !

आज  सुबह  अलार्म clock की नहीं , दरवाज़े  की  दस्तक  पर  आँख  खुली...

देखा  तो  कोई  एक  packet  ज़िन्दगी  चौखट  पर  रख  गया  था. बहार  झाँका  तो  दिन  रंगीन  लगा और  मौसम  बेहतरीन. अंगडाई  भी  अब  सोने  का  नहीं , जागने  का  इशारा  कर  रही  थी …

चूल्हे  पे  उम्मीद  चढ़ा  कर  अखबार  उठाया …खबरें  काफ़ी  दिलचस्प  लगीं. कहीं भी  डर  का  निशान  नहीं  था , पूरा  कागज़  एक  colourful  book  लग  रहा  था. 

Balcony  में  बैठ  कर  अखबार  पढ़ना  सालों  की  आदत  थी तो अपनी सुबह की पहली चाय लेकर मैं बैठ गयी... पढ़ते- पढ़ते  पड़ोसियों  की  आवाजों  के साथ  pressure cooker की  सीटियाँ उनका   ‘menu of the day’ बता गयीं …

First floor पे  आलू  के  परांठे , second floor पे  राजमा- चावल  और   मेरे  floor पे  दाल  खिचड़ी … दूर  से  आती  रफ़ी  की  आवाज़  में  'है  अपना  दिल  तो  आवारा'  fade-out होता जा रहा था  और  'कबाड़ी  वाले'  fade - in…

चाय  की  पहली  चुस्की  ऐसी  लगी  जैसे  नया  कुछ  चख  लिया  हो. 

तभी  उबाल  आया... मैं  झट  से  रसोई  में  भागी और चूल्हा बंद किया... अब उम्मीद  का  रंग  गाढा हो  गया  था , और  स्वाद  करारा.

बस  क्या  था… पलट  दिया  दिन  के  पतीले  में  और  निकल  पड़ी  उसी  सड़क  पे  जहां  से  रोज़  गुज़रती  हूँ.  लेकिन  आज  कुछ  अलग  था … आज  मैं  रास्ते  से नहीं, रास्ता  मुझ  से  होकर  गुज़र  गया.

पता  चला  के  उस  रास्ते  पे  मेरे  अलावा  और  भी  लोग  चलते  हैं , मिलते  हैं , मुस्कुराते  हैं , एक  दुसरे  के  बारे  में  जानते  हैं … आज  मैं  भी  उनका  हिस्सा  थी … आज  मुझे    देखकर भी  लोग  मुस्कुराए  और मैंने  भी उस टीन की छत वाली  दूकान  पर  बैठ  कर  चाय  पी …

नए लोग मुझे नए ख्यालों जैसे लग रहे थे, न वो मुझे जानते थे न मैं उन्हें और न ही जानने की ज़रुरत महसूस हुई ... बातों का लालच बढ़ता गया... दूकान  पर  बैठे- बैठे  शाम  कब  बीत  गयी , अंदाजा  ही  नहीं  लगा.  आज  तो  बातों  की  पोटली  भी  बंद   नहीं  हो  रही  थी … किसी  तरह  बिखरे  हुए  किस्से  समेटते हुए , एक  हलकी सी  गाँठ  बाँध  कर  मैंने  अपनी  गठरी  उठाई  और  वापस  मुल्ला  की  वो मशहूर दौड़  लगाई …

घर  पहुँच  कर  लगा  मानो  एक  दिन  में  मैंने  कई  सालों  का  फासला  कम  कर  दिया था … कुछ  मोड़  छूट  गए  थे  रास्ते  में , कुछ  गलियां  थीं  जिनसे  गुज़ारना  भूल  गयी  थी … और  कुछ  घर  ऐसे  थे  जिनमें  मेरे  दोस्त  रहते  थे …आज मैं उन सब से होकर आई!

उम्मीद  का  पतीला  दिन  ढलते- ढलते  ख़त्म  हो  गया  , लेकिन  आज  मुझे  दिन  के  इशारे  में  ज़िन्दगी  जीने  का  formula  मिल  गया …

                                                                           -तूलिका झा को मेरी ओर से !